Embrace Your Detour!!

Recently, my friend Raye posted on Facebook about detours, I really wanted to comment, but I decided to blog instead.  His post read:

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” (Psalm 32:8)

When you are going through construction, you stand a chance of running across some DETOURS (Detour is defined as a long or roundabout route taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way).  Don’t give up because your life is being REDIRECTED.  Don’t be discouraged because you’re not on the path you feel like you should/need to be.  Know that God is our ULTIMATE GPS and will LEAD you in the right direction. ‪#‎trust ‪#‎faith



Having faith in the midst of a construction zone or detour can be tough. We pray, and pray, and pray, yet we feel that the Lord is not answering our prayers or he just plainly isn’t listening.  But know, THAT IS NOT TRUE!!!  Our Heavenly Father hears our cries, he knows our struggles, but he puts us in situations that will build us to make us better people in Him during this journey called life.  Just because your detour/situation is not ideal, just because this curve ball just came your way, doesn’t mean it is outside of God’s Will.

God’s Will for our lives is not always what we’ve always dreamed and imagined.  He puts us in situations in which we have to rely on Him, trust Him, and depend on Him like we’ve never done before.  Raye and I can both agree that our failed marriages (not to each other) were apart of God’s divine plan.  A plan for us to get to know Jesus Christ as the foundation of our lives, and to lean onto Him in the midst of our circumstances.  Our detours led us to a place of comfort in Him.  Neither of us wanted divorce, we wanted to live a life according to The Will of God, but the divorces that we endured got us to where we are now.  Our divorces got us to a place where we WANT to be bold for Christ.  The detours that we endured, our failed marriages, have given us to opportunity to minister to people in ways that we would never imagine.  We both have a BUT GOD testimony.  And we are SURE that our testimony was all a part of God’s Will.

God’s Will is absolutely perfect (Psalms 18:30), regardless of what YOU may think, he has a divine plan for you and YOUR detour.  Even if you are hurting in this season, know your detour is in God’s plan for your life.  Instead of slouching around sad, frustrated, and disgusted with God, PRAY that he will reveal to you the purpose of this detour.  1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 tells us, Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  Praise God through your detour; for your regularly scheduled path is closer than you think.

Also, remember ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR YOUR GOOD (Romans 8:28)!!!! Embrace your detour and allow God to lead and guide you during this time.  Allow the Lord to be your GPS and take you through this situation according to the plans that He has for you.  Ask God to align your heart and mind to His Will.  Ask Him to continue to move in you and on your behalf while you are on this journey.  Joshua 1:9 tells us, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Remember, everything is PERFECT in God’s Will.  Every detour, curve ball, road block, whatever it is, serves a divine purpose in your life.  Trust God, and trust his timing.  Know that He has a plan for you and that when you get through this, you will be stronger than ever.  Raye and I are here to encourage you that regardless of your situation, God WILL hold on to you, He will provide for you, He loves you, and SO MUCH MORE, but you have to trust Him and trust His Will!!  Embrace the detour, for your greater is coming!


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Loving A Broken Man!!!

Recently, my friend Ace posted this picture on Facebook that asked “Are you woman enough to love a broken man?”  I read the post and almost cried instantly.  I don’t know why but that post weighed VERY HEAVY on my heart!!!

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I know some of Ace’s story, I know how hurt and broken down he has been over the last 7 years.  I have heard the pain in his voice when he tells his story.  I have read the social media posts, and can read behind the words, my friend is hurt!  He and I have a similar story, being that we both experienced domestic violence, and were both on the receiving end.  Yes, I know we don’t hear about men that were victims of DV often, yet it happens.

Overall though, my friend Ace IS a BROKEN MAN!!

It truly hurts me to know how hurt he is, when ultimately he just wants a God fearing woman on his team that will support him, uplift him, encourage him, spend quality time with him, and allow him to lead her closer to Christ.  I guess that is not too much to ask, but as a woman, loving a broken man can be tough. We can see the potential that he has, and we know where he has been, and we want to fix him.  Or even worst, we want him to put a band aide on the brokenness and be Superman for us.


Loving a broken man will require lots and lots of prayer. Only God can fix the hurt that he has endured. Only God can mend him into the man that he is called to be.  Being a prayer warrior for Mr. Right will not only encourage him to get better, but will also allow him to know that you are on his team and in it for the long run.  Praying with and for him lets him know that, though you may not understand his hurt, you identify with it because it is a part of him.  Think about it, his brokenness is a part of him that you ultimately fell in love with.

Colossians 4:2 (NLT) tells us “Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart”. Being alert while praying allows us to hear God when he speaks to us regarding our prayer.  He is able to speak to us clearly because we are in an intimate place with him and we want his glory revealed.  Consequently, we are at an intimate place in Christ and thankful for the amazing things that we know God can and will do.  Going into prayer with a thankful heart is telling God that you appreciate the moves he is making on your behalf prior to him even moving. We already know that Christ can do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), so praying with a thankful heart confirms that we know the power of prayer. The broken man that you are praying for NEEDS your covering just as he needs his own.  He needs a prayer warrior that knows that he is in a broken state, but wants the Lord to move on his behalf according to God’s will.  Your broken man is not dependent on your prayers, but he is relieved to know that you love him for where he is and you are trusting God to take him to greater heights through Him.


Let us all remember, broken crayons still color, however we have to be more careful being that the crayon is in a broken state.  We have to be careful as it relates to a broken man as well.  Though he has many amazing qualities, there are areas in his life that he is working on and rebuilding to be a better him.  As you two continue to work together and grow as a couple, remember that you have to grow even more in Christ.  Ephesians 4:2-3 (Contemporary English Version) says “Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. Try your best to lets God’s Spirit keep your hearts united.  Do this by living in peace.”  As a woman, being humble, gentle, patient, and having genuine love will take you further than you would ever know.  Men crave a woman that will be an encourager, a woman that will lift him when he is down, someone that will be genuine at heart in every aspect of her life and his.  As you grow together and grow in Christ, Ephesians 4:2-3 should resonate in your hearts and unity through the Holy Spirit should be your ultimate goal.


Loving a broken man is not the easiest thing in the world, but it’s not that bad!  We serve and awesome God that will give you the strength to uplift even when you don’t feel like it. We serve a God that will give you peace in the midst of a storm, and the words to encourage when you feel he just needs to ‘man up’.  My friend Ace, the broken man that prompted this post, will be fine.  He has a divine calling on his life that is allowing God to move like he has never moved before.  Though he has struggled with relationships over the last several years, I know that God has an AMAZING God Fearing woman that will complete him like never before.  She will love him for who he is, she will be patient when he is having a trying time.  This woman will embrace everything that he has to offer and spend the quality time that he requires. She will be his teammate,  he will be the point guard and she the shooting guard. They will have each others back in the midst of any storm, and work together to rebuild after the rain. Ultimately, she will be everything that he has dreamed of!! And I praise the Lord in advance for blessing this man, a man that holds a very special place in my heart, for giving him all of his hearts desires.

If you are a single woman, and God sends a broken man your way, know that God is using you to minister to him in ways he will never know.  Be you, be genuine, and accept him for who he is!  If you are currently dating a broken man, know that God is using you as a vessel.  He is allowing you to be a blessing to a man that needs everything that you bring to the table.  Ladies, continue to fear God and lean to him.  He has the answers to your prayers, answers that you could never dream of (Jeremiah 33:3).  Though times may get tough, but remember ALL THINGS work together for your good, because you love Him and trust His will (Romans 8:28)!!!

Fellas, if you are a broken man, and you have an AMAZING woman on your team, let her know that you appreciate her for the woman that she is.  She may not understand why you feel the way that you do, being that you were broken during a prior relationship, but if she loves the Lord, He will provide her with all she needs to support you.  Not every woman that you meet will be a woman that God wants in your life.  Be prayerful that He will lead you to the woman that has all the qualities that will encourage you to become a better man.  ALSO, just because you are a broken man doesn’t mean that you are defeated.  God has a great plan for you and your life, he wants to see you prosper and live an amazing live through Him (Jeremiah 29:11).  Don’t get discouraged, everything that you have been through has molded you into the man that God wants you to be.  And he is moving on your behalf, RIGHT NOW (Isaiah 64:4)!

Broken Men and Beautiful Women trust God!  He is preparing you for an amazing life in Him. 

My Prayer: Lord we thank you! We thank you for the broken men and the women that love them. We thank you for all of the trials and tribulations that any broken man has faced for we know that you are working on his behalf right now. Father we pray for healing of any broken man, woman, or child that needs you and needs your love. I pray that you will consume them and love on them like never before. Father I pray that you will provide a mountain of protection around any broken person and that you will allow them to see you like never before. Father, heal them. Love them. Restore them. Give them the tools to become better in you. Give them friends and family that will pray with and for them. Lord, for that broken man out there that doesn’t see hope in relationships, I pray you will send someone that will show him the love of Christ Jesus. Father we thank you now for being so amazing! We thank you now for your love, your word, your grace, and your new mercies that you bestow on us EVERY MORNING. Lord we thank you. Father we know that you can and will do exceedingly and abundantly above all we could ask or think and we just thank you for moving so mightily. Father we love you, we thank you, and we praise you. In Jesus MIGHTY, MATCHLESS, and MAJESTIC name we pray. 

Amen and Praise God!!! 


 If you, or someone you know, is a victim of Domestic Violence, call the National Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) OR TTY 1-800-787-3224

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No Justice…. No Peace!!!

Ferg MO

Yesterday, MANY African Americans felt as though we were FAILED once again as a race. Many feel that, there has been an injustice within our community, and that we have been dehumanized by the judicial system. Many are pained via the verdict of the Michael Brown case and feel that Officer Darren Wilson should be prosecuted, if not more!!

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the outcome of the trial nor do I agree with the verdict. I feel the pain that the Ferguson community is feeling! I feel the hurt of our people!! I see the attack on our brown men and boys!! I see the injustice! I see why I have to cover my son in prayer! I see the reason Tenderoni wants to move outside the United States! I see the discrimination!!! I see the pain… I feel it!! I see why there is rioting, protesting, and looting…. But I DO NOT AGREE WITH IT!!!

As an African American I am truly sad with the outcome of this situation! I am hurt to know that I have a son that potentially will be profiled for the rest of his life! I am hurt to see how hard my son will have to work to prove himself a GOOD MAN whereas mean and boys of other races get it easy! I am hurt that brother will endure such discrimination as a black man! I hate that my black male friends will be seen in a negative light without even expressing an opinion! I hate that my nephews and cousins will grow up in a world where they are looked down upon because of  the color of their skin…… BUT GOD!!!

God already has a plan!!! God knows EXACTLY what Ferguson needs!!! He knows EXACTLY what America needs, and as a Christian, WE know what is needed as well!!! A little bit more of Him!!!! The God that we serve can turn our MOURNING into DANCING!!! He can turn our problems into joy!!! He can flip the rioting/looting/protesting into a prayer meeting!!! HE CAN!!! But with our help!!!

Matthew 5:13  says “You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.” Our ministry is our salt!!! We have to pour into our communities to be ONE instead of divided!!! We know that God can do exceedingly and abundantly above all we could ask or think, and right now we should be praying for this turn around!!! We don’t want to be the Christians that are “salty” on Sunday morning, but NOT WORTH the “no salt seasoning” when it comes to  our every day lives!!

RIGHT NOW, Ferguson NEEDS the salt!! Ferguson/St. Louis needs some PRAYING saints to cover the community!!! This community needs people that will sprinkle a little Jesus and pray for peace!!!

Instead of No Justice… No Peace!!! How about KNOW Justice…. KNOW Peace!!!

Know that we serve a JUST God, one that promises to take care of the situation instead of us taking revenge (Romans 12:19)… Isaiah 30:18 reads “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” God wants justice to be served in EVERY situation in our lives but He does not want His grace to be used as a “get out of Hell card…. We need to HONOR Him and WAIT on Him, and guess what, justice WILL come to pass!!! Now don’t get me wrong, Isaiah 1:17 says for us to seek justice!!! But seeking justice is not us terrorizing our community, being angry and violent. We need to seek justice by seeking Christ and lingering to his EVERY move!!! 


I do not agree with the actions taken in Ferguson RIGHT NOW…. I don’t agree with the burning of buildings and tearing down a community because of one’s dissatisfaction. I don’t agree with rocks being thrown at reporters and whomever else…. I DON’T AGREE…. But I do agree that if we can stand along side of one another and show those the GOODNESS of GOD, and pray for one another!! Pray for justice to be served THROUGH Jesus, we would be in a better place right now!!!

Know JUSTICE through our JUST God!!! Know PEACE through the one that can calm a storm!!

Y’all, God is in control!!! Stop allowing your “free will” to conduct the business of the enemy!!! We are #TeamJesus and should act as such DAY IN and DAY OUT!!!

With that being said…. You Salty Or Nah???

Salt and Light

Be the salt that God needs us to be in the midst of a storm!!! Be the light that will ensure that everything WILL be okay because you know Jesus!! Be SALTY on purpose!!!

Prayer: Thank you God for today!!! Yesterday, and tomorrow!!! Thank you for being a JUST God in the midst of a storm!!! Thank you for your peace that surpasses all understanding!! Thank you for your saving Grace and your new mercies EVERY morning!!! Lord right now I lift up Ferguson/St. Louis to you!!! I pray that there are some sprinkles of salt in the midst of this storm! I pray that you will shine a light for all of the city to see!!  I pray that you will heal the hurt of your children and allow them a closer walk with you during this situation. Lord I lift the Brown family to you! You know their hurt and pain! You know exactly where to meet their needs. Father I pray that you will be with every member of the Brown Family and everyone of your children in Ferguson and the surrounding cities. Lord I pray for all the business owners that are experiencing the rath of the situation and that are having to start over from nothing!!! Lord be with your people; be with the men and women that are sprinkling salt! Be with those that want to spread your word but cannot due to fear. Lord I know that you have not given us the spirit of fear, rather, that of POWER, so I pray for that power to be released over your people. Lord we praise you and thank you for the MIGHTY things that we know you can and will do!!! We love you Jesus!!

Amen and Praise God!!

The 7th Day!!

Today is the 7th Day of journey that I am on, and my “Biffle” Myron wrote me a devotional for today!! It was written so well, I wanted to share with the world!!! Thank you Myron for your encouraging words today! Love you dearly my friend!!


The seventh day is the last day of the week and just beyond it is another set of days to begin anew, but sometimes, that 24 hours before the new week could almost seem like an eternity. When we feel ourselves slipping from our path and constantly being bombarded with all of the emotions and situations associated with pursuing our future can bring… a natural human reaction is to give up and start over the next week. We feel at times that we are praying and hoping for something that we cannot ascertain, but the all-seeing and all-knowing God will deliver us from this things that try to consume our lives and take our attention away from God’s work. Romans 8:24-25 states, “We are saved by trusting. And trusting means looking forward to getting something we don’t yet have—for a man who already has something doesn’t need to hope and trust that he will get it. But if we must keep trusting God for something that hasn’t happened yet, it teaches us to wait patiently and confidently.”

My friend, we have both heard the lesson of being patient… so over the remaining days of this journey, Trust in God and know that He is preparing you according to His Will. In the mean time, allow your trust in His promise to be assured and I am sure that your waiting will not go in vain.
Father God, we come to you with humble hearts, minds and with a renewed sense of patience in your Will to take part in our lives. In times of weakness and struggle to get through our situations, Lord we pray that we seek you for better understanding of Your Word and the patience to see Your great works manifest in our lives. I pray that we are of full understanding of the power of prayer and how it can turn our insurmountable obstacles into valuable lessons to further prepare us for our future. Thank you for allowing us to be believers and know that all things will work together for the good. We praise you, we honor you, and we love you with all of our being. We pray these things in the magnificent name of Jesus, Amen and Praise God!

His Word Bond…. Is yours???

Many times we say that we are going to do things, with EVERY intention of doing exactly as we say…. Whereas sometimes we tell people what they want to hear versus being truthful with our intentions!!! But why do we lie about things like this… Why do we make promises that we KNOW we are not going to keep?? Why do we insist on saying that we will do things, when deep down we know that we will not follow thorough??

Keep your word

As a child of God, how would you feel if The Lord reneged on some of his promises. Deuteronomy 31:6 says: “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” — But what if you were in the midst of some mess and God just said “Oh… Not today, I’m failing him today!!! He isn’t worthy!!”… Or how about God’s promise in Isaiah 41:10, ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ — But what if God said, “Oh, I’m gone, you was strong and mighty last night, you don’t need me… You don’t need my help!! You got this playa!!”… How would you feel about that???

Like for real, how would we feel if God treated us like that?? How would we feel if someone that we love, respect, cherish, depend on, etc. did not follow through with the promises that they made!! I already know, it would genuinely hurt!! It would be a palpable hurt. We would lose faith in that person and everything that they say from then on out would be null and void, regardless of their intentions!!!

We have to keep our word to others just as we expect people to keep their word to us. But not only that, we have to keep our vows and commitments that we make to God, for him to see us faithful. Numbers 30:2 lays it out PLAIN and CLEAR to us, “If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth”.

Keeping our word is imperative to our walk with Christ!!! Keeping our word is also imperative to any and every relationship in which we engage!!! Be the friend that others can rely on!!! Be the person that EVERYONE knows will follow through!!! Be great in every aspect of your life and know that GOD sees your faithfulness but most of all, he will honor your faithfulness to Him.

Let us pray: Heavenly Father, we come to you right now, thanking you for your grace and your new mercies!!! Thanking you for you for protecting us even when we knew we were wrong!! Thanking you for keeping your promises to us even when we are undeserving!! Lord we pray right now, asking you to forgive us. Forgive us for not doing as we say, not keeping promises to you or to our friends, family, peers or colleagues! God forgive us for not being the man or woman of God that you have called us to be!!! Lord we just want to be great!!! We want to live like you and be an influence to all of those around us!!! Thank you Lord for meeting us where we are and giving us the tools we need to survive!! We will work harder to keep our word!!! We will strive to keep our promises and glorify you in the midst!!! We thank you and praise you for EVERYTHING you are doing in our lives!!! I say this prayer in your son Jesus name I pray. Amen and Praise God!!


Whew, it has been a LONG TIME since I posted….. Like, over a month….. But this has been on my heart for a few days, so I need to express it!!! Its is really random, I have not studied a whole bunch, and its just flowing from the tips of my fingers……. Thus being said, here we go!!! 


How many times to we see on social media, “pray for me”, “pray for mom, she is ill”, “pray for my family in our time of need”, etc…. Well, I see it all the time and so many times I say that I am going to pray for that person and completely forget!!! Or, I will have the BEST intentions to pray for the person and I never do because life happens! I guess I just want to encourage you that when we say we are going to pray for someone, pray for them right then! 

I got a phone call a few weeks ago…. The call was FULL OF DRAMA, and I really didn’t want to hear it, so I just cut the conversation short and told the young lady that we were going to pray. We prayed about each person involved in the mess, and even for a breakthrough for the drama starters. I prayed right then for the salvation of everyone involved and for peace beyond all understanding. ~~~ After I prayed I felt so much better. I wasn’t upset nor was I aggravated due to the nature of the conversation. Prayer defiantly changes things!!

But if you are not sure how to pray, here are a few things that can help you:

  • Take The Time: The girls I sing with fasted and prayed together for a month. We each told our prayer requests via GroupMe and everyday at Noon, we prayed for our prayer requests. The Noon hour worked for all for all of us and it drew us closer, but even more that, we spent imitate time with Christ praying for each other! 
  • Prayer Journal: Get a notebook, decorate it, and write your prayers down. Writing usually releases those emotions that you cant always get out. 
  • There Is NO Right Way To Pray: When you are praying to God, you are merely talking to him and being thankful and requesting things from him. You can talk to him like he is your bestfriend, your parents, your home boy/girl, just talk to him….
  • Be YOURSELF: Sometimes we can be intimidated during prayer time, but just be yourself!!! Our Heavenly Father will accept you for you as long as you have a genuine heart! 
  • Let It Transform You: Practice makes perfect. The entire Christian life, including prayer, is something that we have to work on to become better at it. God can do amazing things in us through our reaching out to him in prayer (This was taken from http://lifeteen.com/prayer/)

When we pray, we have to be honest with ourselves so we can be honest with God! And when we say we are going to pray for people, pray right then! It would mean so much more for you to pray with them and let them hear or see your prayer rather than the thought that the person may or may not have prayed when they said they did! I hope this post helps someone! 

I know it was very random and not as put together as other posts, but know that God wants your hearts…. Point, blank, period!!!

Prayer: Father God, I just want to say thank you! Thank you for this opportunity to minister and to just open the incite for someone that may not have a relationship with you. Father I just pray right now for all your children. I pray that you will increase in the hearts of your people so that your light can shine  in the midst of this dark world! Lord I am asking that you will bless all those that are sick, hurt, heartbroken, and insecure. I pray for those people that are literally losing their mind, that don’t know you, Lord I’m praying for those that don’t believe in your power! Father I am asking right now that you grant to the prayer requests of those that I said I would pray for and may have neglected. Lord I am asking you to continue to be with all those that are reading this and those may be struggling to get to know you. Father God, I am just asking you to do great things in my life as I know you will! I ask all these things in your son Jesus name I pray.

Amen and Praise God! 

Bring Back Our Girls!!!


As many of us celebrated Mother’s Day today, I could only think about the Nigerian mothers still mourning the abduction of their daughters. Such a tragic event and so little is being done!!

My prayer today is that the Holy Spirit consume these parents and give them peace in the time of a storm. I know that’s easier said than done, but I serve an almighty God that can do exceedingly and abundantly above all we could ask or think.


My prayer is that these daughters know Christ, or that the Lord will send someone to tell them the good news. I pray that our girls are protected, and that they have the strength to fight in such a tough battle. I pray that our girls are “Safe ln His Arms”.


Bring Back Our Girls!!! These girls deserve the rest of their lives. They deserve the right to an education. They deserve the right to express themselves. They deserve to be with their families. They deserve so much, that has been taken away by the Islamic Terrorists!! Jesus, bless their hearts!!!


Jesus protect these babies. Hold them, consume them!!! Fill them with the Holy Spirit so they can feel your love. Lord bless them, protect them, LOVE them. In Jesus name I pray!!! Amen and Praise God!!

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The Love Fast: Day 11

Day 11

The fail of my marriage, was one of the hardest times of my life. I was very much so hurt by him and the abuse, but I was also very down, because divorce was not an option for me! I pointed all the blame at him for the fail of the marriage, but I never looked at my own faults.  My friend Riley was one of greatest blessings when I was going through my divorce. He and I talked about my marriage, he asked me questions about it, and he made me think about the situation from another point of view. He gave it to me straight and opened my eyes to many things!! Thank you Rilo!!! You are GREAT!!

So now, when I think back at my marriage, I realize that I am not a great communicator. I’m not good at expressing my feelings and talking about things that matter! I literally experienced this a few days ago when talking to “Tenderoni”, we sat at the dinner table for 3 hours, yet I still had to send him a text to convey exactly what I was trying to say!!! It’s really bad!!! But I am working on it!!! However, I do know that communication is the key to a lasting relationship!

So I have openly admitted that I am not the best communicator, so I have had to so do some research….. Here we go!!:

  1. Choose the Right Words: To effectively promote the desired love, unity and intimacy in a relationship, both partners must learn to choose words that are seasoned with respect, love and submission. The right words used at the right time will douse doubt, fear and unwanted judgment. Everything you say should promote your feelings and show loyalty and respect to your partner, regardless how hurt you are. Allow your words to be the pillars to a successful conversation!

    2. Avoid Assumptions: Many times, we assume things that we do not understand, and his can be very harmful to a harmonious relationship. Take the time to listen to what your mate is saying, not just assume what is going to be said. I’m sure we have all sure that when you assume, you make and a** out of you and me. Assumptions are so harmful, so I suggest, if you don’t know, ASK, you can’t be afraid to question the unknown!!

3. Choose The Proper Time To Speak: ”To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven… A time to rend, and a time to hate; a time to keep silence, a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes3:1-10). There is the need to know your partner’s mood and temperament before discussing  critical issues. No matter how overwhelming the matter may be, choose carefully when and where to you approach the topic.

4. Learn To Listen:  Listening and hearing are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!!! To listen is to acknowledge what is being said, to hear is to acknowledge a sound. Communication is a two-way process and it requires the cooperation between the speaker and the listener. Listen attentively to what your partner is saying and give accurate feedback. Try not to hear certain words, LISTEN to the complete thought for your partner’s point of view!
5. Be Open And Truthful: Being open is letting your mate in! Giving your partner the insight they deserve in the relationship. be discussed! Being open and honest will take your relationship to a different level.

In a relationship, you are bound to have a difference of opinion. You are bound to view things differently! You are bound to disagree! But, you must open the lines of communication so that your partner will understand where you are coming from and know your thought process for the future! As you enter into new relationships, ask God to help you be more open with your feelings, ask him to give you a listening ear! Ask the Lord to give you and your mate a tender heart!!

Prayer: Father God in Heaven, thank you for this day! Thank you for my eagerness to want to be more like you as I prepare myself for my season of love! Father I ask that you work on me as it relates to being an awesome communicator! Father I ask that you will bestow upon me everything that I need to be the best person for my partner! Lord I ask that you will show me my faults in the realm of communication and I pray that you will show me how to fix them! Father, I love you and I know that you are working on me RIGHT NOW, so God I just ask that you continue to be a present help for me! I pray that you will mold me into the person you want me to be and that you improve me for my mate! God, I thank you in advance and I praise you for all the things you have done, are doing, and will do in my life! I say this prayer in your son Jesus name I pray. Amen and Praise God!

The Love Fast: Day 10

whats your type

Ever been walking through the mall and see someone of the opposite sex and you say, ohhhh he/she is defiantly my type. Or you say, he/she is cute, but they are just not my type! I’m sure everyone has done it, because everyone pretty much has a type… So take a minute and make a list of your type of man/woman.

For example, looks wise, Carolina Panthers player Mario Addison is my type. I love a man that is 6’2 or taller, dark skinned, facial hair, muscular build, beautiful teeth. When I am getting to know someone, I look for someone that makes me laugh, that can text in complete sentences, interested in trying new things, a self-starter, genuine, kind, but most of all, a non-smoking CHRISTIAN!!  Check out Mario Addison!!! Cutie Pie!!!

Mario Addison

Anyway, I have pretty much liked this type of man for as long as I can remember. But wait, my crushy crush is not 6’2, he is not dark skinned, he is kinda muscular, no facial hair, but he does have beautiful teeth. However, he is an absolute God send! He is one of the most genuine people that I have ever met. He is great with my son, he makes me laugh, he PRAISES THE LORD, he LOVES THE LORD, he is very ambitious, he is a go-getter, he is such a great guy, and I genuinely enjoy being around him. I say all of this to say, everything that looks good to you may not be good for you!

Jeremiah 29:11 reads: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” If God has plans for us in whom our future will prosper, why do we put limits on God? Why do we restrict him on what we will ultimately accept, when he has someone absolutely perfect for us?? This person may not be what we want based on his/her looks, but God will not give us anything less than what we need.

I have been very humbled because, “my type” of man was not all that I thought he would crack up to be. Every man that I dated that was “my type”, hollered he was a Christian, but he was so in the world that his light would not shine! My type was not as respectful as I deserved. But when I took a step back and looked outside of “my type”, I have met some pretty amazing men!

I say all of this to say, let’s not limit what God has for you based on your preference. Psalms 37:4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I have always thought that this scripture meant that God will give me what I want point, blank, period…. But what I have learned is that the desires of my heart ultimately are to be happy, to be loved, to be complimented, to be encouraged, to be treated with respect, to be in a relationship with a guy that will love me for me. The desires of my heart are to have someone by my side that will support me through thick and thin, someone that will cherish the moments, and be my best friend. A man that will be absolutely perfect for me in every way, shape and form.

I guess today, look into what really matters. Are you looking for a God-fearing mate that will cherish everything you have to offer? Or do you want a special feature that will fade as time rolls by and you grow old?  Remember that God has someone that is absolutely perfect for you. This person may or may not be exactly what you look for ascetically, but he or she will be just what you need! God knows what is best for you! He knows who and what will compliment your characteristics! He is preparing you for your mate, just as he is preparing your mate for you!

Proverbs 18:22 says, when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing and has favor in the Lord. Ladies, God will send you to the place where you potential husband is. Your husband will find you and you will be amazed at how awesome this man is!! And men, when you see her, make your move!! Women like a man that is going to approach her and treat her like the lady she is! Good luck on this journey, I pray that you will be perfectly ready for your mate when you meet him or her!!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for waking me up this morning and giving me the chance to embrace this day. Thank you for being perfect, and loving me throughout my imperfections! Thank you Lord for being able to see the physical characteristics that I like in a partner, but thank you even more for letting me see what I characteristics I like beyond looks. Lord I pray right now that you will lead me and guide  to my mate, according to your will an your ways. I thank you for your love and kindness, and for allowing me to be the person you have designed me to be! Lord I ask you to give me the desires of my heart as I prepare to be the husband/wife that you have called me to be. I am ready for whoever you have for me and I am ready to embrace the love that we will share! Thank you Lord! I say this prayer in your son Jesus name I pray. Amen and Praise God!

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The Love Fast: Day 9

Lies…. Lies…. Lies, I tell ya!!! I am probably one of the most caring and understanding people that one will ever meet! You can tell me something and I will believe every word you’ve said because I don’t have any reason to doubt your words. Well, that is until I’m lied to and deceived.

When I look back over my marriage, I realize a lot of my marriage was based on lies. Whether it was my ex-husband lying about smoking weed, or lying about where he was, or the lies about the females calling him phone…. There were MANY LIES!!! And though I didn’t understand, I prayed and prayed and prayed for a change of character for my ex-husband. I prayed and asked to how I as his wife should deal with the lies and deception, how should I remain faithful to an unfaithful man. It was bad, but God prevailed!  If you’ve read my post domestic violence saved my life, you will see a little more of my story, BUT GOD! I was deceived by the person that was supposed to be by my side till death do us part….. BUT GOD!!!


Deception violates trust, and trust is an essential component to any relationship.  Dr. David of Crosswalk.com says: “Trust is the foundation that holds a relationship up. I tell you what is important to me and what I expect from you. If you agree to honor and respect what is important to me, I will trust you with my feelings and thoughts. If you dishonor me by violating an agreement, by deceiving me, we’re going to have serious problems. If you make amends for your betrayal, I might, if I determine you to be trustworthy, slowly begin to trust you again. If you don’t seem to understand the importance of honoring an agreement, and the importance of protecting my trust in you, we cannot have a relationship.”  Point, blank, period!!

Galatians 6:7-8 reads: Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”  Pretty much this scripture tells us that you bring in what you put out!!! When we are in a committed relationship, and we deceive our partner by way of lies, infidelity, or whatever the case may be, we can expect chaos within that relationship. Living a deceptive lifestyle is bound to ruin any good thing that has come about in your relationship, however if you can be upfront, honest, and faithful with your mate, you will enjoy the benefits of happiness!

No relationship is perfect, however, we need to know that when we are dealing with other people, that we need to be our genuine selves. We have to be treat our mate with the upmost respect because he or she may be the one that God has for us!! Dr. Lisa Firestone writes on psyhcalive.org, “An ideal relationship is built on trust, openness, mutual respect and personal freedom. But real freedom comes with making a choice, not just about who we are with but how we will treat that person. Choosing to be honest with a partner every day is what keeps love real. And truly choosing that partner every day by one’s own free will is what makes love last. So while freedom to choose is a vital aspect of any healthy and honest union, deception is the third party that should never be welcome in a relationship. “

In our next relationships, avoid any type of deception that will lead us away from our mate but especially Christ!!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you! Thank you for your spirit! Thank you for your loving kindness! Thank you for just being God alone! Father as I come to you right now, I ask you for a discerning spirit. I ask that when you send/lead me to my future mate, that I will be able to be the Christian partner that you have called me to be! I pray that you will remove any form of deception from me now, so that I can serve you whole heartedly! Father I love you and I thank you in advance for all the wonderful thing you are doing for me! I know that you will allow me to be the best person that I can be in you. Thank you God for Jesus! Thank you for healing, protection, and everything else that I am experiencing because I am your child! Father I love you and I praise you. In Jesus name! Amen and Praise God!!

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